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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28778760">Raccoon Cafe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/azure_iolite/pseuds/azure_iolite'>azure_iolite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lucifer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Backstory, Crack, Don’t argue, Gen, Humor, Michael doesn’t do what he’s told, Michael is a raccoon, Michael is a trouble maker, Michael may be a Disney Princess, Michael talks to an animal, Mischief, Raccoon cafe, The place really exists, i will fight you, this is fact, vacationing archangel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:00:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28778760</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/azure_iolite/pseuds/azure_iolite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael had a list of vacay destinations, meticulously gathered from his siblings, and their many visits to Earth, and he was going to sample them all. He was used to having a list as long as time itself of things needed doing, but on Earth, the only list he had was the one he had made, and the only command given him was, “Don’t stir up trouble with your twin, Michael.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael &amp; Raccoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Raccoon Cafe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael strutted toward the quaint building. He had a list of vacay destinations, meticulously gathered from his siblings, and their many visits to Earth, and he was going to sample them all. Time off felt nice. If a little odd. He was used to having a list as long as time itself of things needed doing, but on Earth, the only list he had was the one he had made, and the only command given him was, “Don’t stir up trouble with your twin, Michael.”</p><p>He huffed, still annoyed that Dad thought so little of him. Why would he even want to? Because Lucifer was all the others talked about? Because the Lightbringer was still the favorite? Because his twin was free to romp around, doing as he pleased?</p><p>No.</p><p>Michael wanted none of that. What he wanted was to sample the delights of the mortal plane. Like this place.</p><p>He pushed open the door and strode into the Raccoon Cafe with a smirk. Raphael raved about this new fad in Seoul, and he wanted to find out if it lived up to the hype. As he stood by the entrance, waiting for the hostess, he let his eyes roam over the place—and the creatures scampering and lounging about. </p><p>A light colored one was riding on a customer’s back like a backpack. A feisty little animal harassed a dog. Another climbed over a customer to reach a counter. Michael chuckled. The place was chaotic, and the staff struggled in a futile attempt to keep some semblance of order. He rather enjoyed the madness, but part of him wondered why anyone would willingly do this to themselves.</p><p>Humans were ridiculous.</p><p>The hostess arrived, they chatted, and she led him to a seat. Then a waitress took his order. Coffee. Black. The cheapest thing on the menu. Then he sat back to watch. After a time, he felt eyes on him, and he looked down at his table to see a masked bandit eyeing him. It’s chin rested on the table, and it’s little black hands held on, framing its face perfectly. It looked up at him inquisitively.</p><p><i>“Well, hello,”</i> He greeted in Enochian. Animals instinctively understood the divine language, but humans had forgotten how to listen to their instincts long ago.</p><p>The raccoon dropped from the table to scamper under it and climb it’s way onto his lap and up onto the table. Then it looked at him and sniffed, tilting its fuzzy head.</p><p>
  <i>You are not one of them.</i>
</p><p><i>“That’s right. How observant of you.”</i> </p><p>His coffee arrived and he thanked the human. He took a sip and set the cup down. The animal continued to eye him. </p><p><i>Can I tell you something?</i> It came closer, sniffing intently and glancing over its shoulder. Michael followed its gaze to see a tray with tea and baked goods pushed partially off to the side, so just a little nudge would send it crashing down onto the humans leaning against the counter wall, playing with a couple raccoons.</p><p>
  <i>“Did you do that?”</i>
</p><p>His raccoon grinned impishly. Then it’s eyes darted to the light colored raccoon, walking down the counter, headed straight for the tray.</p><p><i>He follows the same path every day. He gets treats from the cooks.</i> The smug animal lounged on the table. </p><p><i>“And you wish for him to get in trouble?”</i> Now Michael was curious. Why would it want to stir things up? The cafe was already disorderly enough.</p><p>
  <i>We were born together. But everyone likes him best because he’s pretty. They think he’s special, even though he’s a selfish idiot.</i>
</p><p>Ah, Michael knew how that felt.</p><p>Turning back toward the counter, he observed as the light raccoon reached the trey, and sure enough, it capsized. Down went the animal, the tea, and the pastries onto the customers below, and pandemonium erupted all around.</p><p>Michael laughed as the raccoon on the table pawed him, clearly pleased with itself.</p><p>
  <i>How do you like the mess I made?</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hehe.<br/>Trash Panda Archangel.<br/>😉🦝</p><p>Seriously, look up the raccoon cafe. It’s real. It’s madness. It’s adorable.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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